There has never really been a time when we didn’t plan on homeschooling our children. Even early in our marriage, we felt called to do it, though I
doubt we would have phrased it that way. But today, I see it as a part of my vocation as a wife and mother.
As our daughters get older, and especially as our older girl approaches high school this Fall, my comfort with homeschooling K-12 was suddenly … less. I couldn’t explain it, but I started feeling nervous about my older daughter’s entrance into her high school years, and my abilities to educate her. I couldn’t explain it, and only shared my feelings about it a very little bit with my husband. I still felt the call to homeschool her, but I had doubts that I was doing a good-enough job any more.
I knew I wasn’t willing to put her in public school. I know that spending $6000 a year for Catholic school wasn’t going to work for us, either. As much as our finances have improved, I can’t possibly afford that kind of tuition for a private school! Less-expensive Christian schools are out of the question. I don’t doubt their sincerity or their love for Christ, but I don’t want my children in an environment where their own faith would be questioned and challenged on a daily basis. (Plus, I’ve noticed a lot of anti-science going on in the evangelical circles in these parts; faith and science are not enemies or opposites.)
So I have been plugging on, working towards finishing this year and trusting that my decision to continue to homeschool my girls through high school is the right one. We looked at various curricula and finally made the decision to re-enroll with Seton Homeschool for high school. While their lower grade curriculum didn’t work for us, their high school curricula does look like it will. Our daughter chose her science class for ninth grade, and we’ve discussed working towards getting her ready for high school math (her weakest subject).
But this nagging doubt still bothered me: Am I doing the right thing? Can she do this? Can I do this?
Today, I finally emailed Seton and asked about how to go about giving her the high school placement test, and started marking off the books on the list that I didn’t need to purchase. More perfunctory actions, more stepping out on faith.
And, suddenly, I realized that I had a great peace about this whole thing.
What a gift! I hadn’t even made it a conscious prayer, but I had been – in a very roundabout way – asking God if, indeed, this was the right thing for me to do. Am I doing right by my children by choosing to homeschool through high school?
And the answer was yes. What a relief! What a joy!
So now I can look forward to the end of this school year with the knowledge that I’ll also be able to look forward to the next!