Trust

After my hospital stay, I have been VERY skittish about eating and my digestion tract. Besides the fact that, after being so sick, nothing seemed appetizing to me, I was also nervous about every little off-feeling in my stomach or any lack of … ahem … movement in the general natural actions of my body. Yesterday, while visiting Madonna House at their annual Christmas open house, I suddenly felt better than I had in a while. I felt GOOD!!!

Eating wasn’t a problem for the rest of the day, and drinking wasn’t, either. And my gastro-intestinal system seems to be doing just what it’s supposed to do.

I have decided that God is helping me learn to trust. Because there is absolutely nothing I can do to prevent my intestines from playing balloon animal again, I must trust in God’s infinite mercy that He will protect me. And also trust that, if it is His will, I will be sick again.

It can be scary. But I am becoming more comfortable with it. I’m looking at it differently than I used to, you see. I am going to look at this as an opportunity to offer my suffering with Christ on the Cross, to make a gift to my Father in Heaven! If it is God’s will that I suffer like that again, I will look at it as a gift and I will offer it to Him for whatever intentions Christ wishes. I will strive to imitate Saint Paul.

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